Sometimes a dream is so real, so vivid. . .
Yesterday morning I woke up a little agitated from an especially stressful dream. The dream itself was interesting enough. I was being pursued by a backhoe. There was a hero. A young boy. I was young as well and he was younger yet, but not by much. I was fit and beautiful with long flowing blonde hair that was never brushed. He was tall, thin, always had on a white t-shirt and jeans. Blonde hair, just a little too long like that end of summer hair boys down here get. Leaping around on piles of junk in old barns and outbuildings as we traversed our way across the country. There was more a sense of comaraderie between me and the boy than a sexual attraction. I had to remain hidden and quiet through most of the dream. I was the one the backhoe wanted. *chuckle*
We found several unworthy hiding places that the backhoe destroyed accordingly as my hero and I managed to escape at the last minute. Most of the places I hid in were dilapidated or full of piles and mounds of spider web filled junk. I did a lot of peering through slats. My young hero did a great deal of showing up at the crucial moment and literally saving my you-know-what by grabbing my hand and pulling me to safety as the structure fell to a suffocating end.
My young hero and I eventually found our way to a church that was in the middle of nowhere and hid below the balcony. I remember getting there and having a sense of finality. My destination. I could breath a little. I would not have to run anymore. Hiding there, I had a sense of security. The boy had to leave me, so he told me I would be safe if I stayed there and stayed quiet. Meanwhile, people came and went from the church and never noticed me. I slowly experimented my way up from what I will call the "catacombs" of the church. Catacombs is not the right word because this was a new church and new churches don't have catacombs. However, this church seemed to have a lot of passageways and levels below the main level. I finally found myself at ground level in a closet I could look outside and see through a window. I remember the sensation that the church wasn't finished yet. There was a great deal of unfinished dry wall, the windows were dusty white from plaster. Everything had that powdery, hard to breath, unfinished look and there was a feeling of newness in every room.
Still I hid. Somehow the backhoe met its demise. I can't remember exactly the order of events because it made it to the church. I could see it through the window from the closet I was hiding in. A man got out of it and walked toward the church. He was wearing clothes one might think a construction worker would wear. It was a man, but not a big man. He wore jeans, a chambray type shirt,hard hat, leather gloves and sunglasses. He was dirty with a different kind of dirt than was in the church. The dirt on him was brown like road dirt. Not black like soil. The backhoe sat lifeless in a pile of weeds after the man left it. The man seemed to melt into the church.
Then my young hero returned and told me I'd been "detected" and "We had to go". He grabbed my hand again and we were running through thick underbrush and a very bright sun. It hurt my eyes to look up, so I ran holding his hand and watching his back. Leaping and crawling, crouching and diving. He always stayed just ahead enough of me to lead the way, and at the same time he could just reach out and grab me if I struggled. I knew I needed him and I wanted him there. I haven't wanted a man in a very long time.
We entered a cool, shadowy wooded area and a barn appeared before us. It was covered in vines and leaves but was very secure. It was surrounded by very thick woods. We had to climb a tree and drop through a high trap door (only after he destroyed the lock) onto an upper level then eventually make our way to the ground. This barn was full of antique furniture but still contained the same amount of dust and cobwebs as the previous hiding places. A relaxed feeling fell over the dream. The only place I didn't go was a cleared out area in the middle of the barn. He told me there was a magnetized area there that if I passed over it I would be "detected". I listened and stayed away from the area. I remember feeling extremely ill if I got too close. I would get dizzy and almost black out. Again, he'd reach out and prevent me from falling into the area or was always watching in case I "forgot" and walked too near. My relationship with the boy changed and things got physical. Nothing too serious, just lots of childish making out and groping. He held my hand now not to save me, but to be near me. It seemed like days passed. We even ventured out into the vines on the outside of the barn.
Then a woman came to the barn. We hid in the piles. She was dressed like the man that had exited the back hoe at the church. She walked straight for the "magnetized area" and crawled around on the furniture near there. She had a clip board and a hair cut like a man. She seemed to be able to sense me breathing. I would hold my breath as long as I could when I let it out as quietly as I could, she would look in our direction. He would hold me closer and we would try to shrink more into the shadows.
She climbed around a little more, pulling at some of the stuff piled around and then she left down the path she came. It seemed like what was the next day a very large construction site truck appeared without warning in front of the barn. It would have been physically impossible for the truck to arrive there due to the thickness of the trees and underbrush. It was empty, so we knew a driver had to be around somewhere. When the truck started up on its own, we knew the rules had changed. Terrified, I woke up. I'd been sweating. The hair around my neck was damp.
I tried to get right back to sleep. I wanted to be with the boy. I wanted to feel his sinewy protecting arms around me and his desperate lips pressed to mine. I wanted to sit on the ground in that barn with his legs enfolding me in a protective stance against the advancing outside world. Holy crap, I wanted to go back there even if my life was in danger. I wanted to be with him like nothing else on this planet.
I never made it back, so I woke up grumpy. I suppose in the recesses of my mind he's waiting there for me. Perhaps I will find him tonight.
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