They Need To Be Committed

I don't give 100 percent all the time.  I have my moments when I just don't care.  Maybe more than I care to admit.  But I try real hard not to let people down and I don't break promises even if I have to show up on my deathbed.  I don't lie and I don't manipulate.  First plans are what I stick with.  I don't break plans to make new plans.  However, I know someone who does and when it happens (it happens often enough) it's such a disappointment.  I'll spare some of the details.  To help you visualize, it involved that "something better" that comes along after we've made a commitment.  Doesn't it stink when that happens?

So, when the cancellation was official, I prickled.  No, I didn't prickle, I was downright put off.  When I heard those words, "I did the best I could."  And--wait for it--the trademark shrug and frown that somehow seemed to relinquish the individual from any prior responsibility.  To me it didn't because I knew the truth. 

The fateful words came out of my mouth.  "Oh, did you now?"  The minute it came out I felt triumphant.  For her, the "something better" meant a change in the original plans.  Someone else would need to step in.  By now, her mind was made up.  However, one of the interesting ironies in all this is the someone else she'd hoped to dump the weekend on also had a "something better".  A reason to dump it on her lap.  In this interesting unfolding of events, two grown adults were going to try to dish a commitment on each other.  For about two weeks, it was like a badly written After School Special watching the two of them jockey for position of who's "conflict" was most important and who would back down first.  When neither party would budge, the event had to be cancelled altogether and that brings you up to speed.  That's the part that got under my skin.  This little show of maturity affected a lot of people.

I sort of apologized to her later.  I told her I was sorry, that if she'd really done all she could do to remedy the cancelling of the event, then there really was nothing she could do.  So that's not a real apology.  However, it was wrong and it was none of my business, but I meant it.

I know the reasons behind the charade and the situations could have been remedied had both parties just said.  "I'm sorry have plans that weekend.  Could we do it another time?"    Instead, I'm disappointed in two grown-ups acting like spoilt children.  They both made a commitment.