11 Days -- And Counting -- We're Losing Her, a.k.a. the Empty Dance Card

It's a classic TV show.  The handsome paramedics working feverishly over the accident victim.  The hospital is on the line barking crackling instructions.

Well, they're losing me.  The instructions don't come, I'm flatlining.  I prayed again last night.  Right now, all I want to do is pass this class.  Is that too difficult?  Is it wrong to say, I just take another failure?  I really, really can't take another failure.  I'm at the end of my rope and I've tied a knot.  I prayed out of disappointment, desparation and sheer frustration.  I simply can't fail this class again.  I'm tired of the searching when the Bible clearly tells us, seek and we shall find.  I'm tired of knocking on locked doors where there is no one home.  I'm tired of asking blank walls.  I'm just tired of feeling alone.  I have spent my life without a champion on this earth and I'm beginning to think that the other situation isn't going so good either.  I don't want anyone to get the idea that I only pray when I'm in trouble.  I used to pray all the time.  I used to have an open communication with God.  I defended my faith, attended church even had a job in a church for a short period of time.  I was quite the crusader.

You see, there are some simple promises in the Bible that speak of comfort, peace and strength.  Simple promises that we as children of God are supposed to be ble to claim.  Comfort, peace and strength that I have to be honest, I have prayed for more times than I can count, yet in all my years of faith can never honestly claim to experience.  None of those things brought me back from the edge.  More often than not I just finally went to bed hoping for an end to this and when the sun came up was just resigned to face another day.  No triumph over the darkness in my mind, just resignation.  The Bible speaks of the simplicity of our relationship with God.  It's free, all we have to do is claim it.  I claimed it when I was eight years old, and no one has ever arrived to claim my dance card and it's getting pretty old hanging out at the dance hall.