Are we in the same marriage?

This is interesting.  I've seen this phenomenon in my circle of friends a few times.  A wedding anniversary approaches and "hubby" waxes sentimental with friends raising his (sometimes metaphorical) wine glass to an admiring crowd and speaking loyally and affectionately about the marriage of five, ten, fifteen (and beyond) years.  I wish I could link to the latest.  27 years.  In a week. 

The first thing  notice is this quote:

" . . . so I've been thinking about that."

All I can say is:

Really?  You've been thinking about 'that?' 

He then proceeds to offer up his ten cents in the form of a single silver bullet:

"Take divorce off the table."

Really.  You are one oblivious man if you think she hasn't thought about it once or twice.

The next offering is our glorious three options:

• be miserable
• work it out and be miserable
• learn to love

Apparently, as the entry continues, he has "learned to love."  Meanwhile I wonder who he is passing out this advice to.  As a confidant, I know as a couple, there has been great suffering as he pursued his dreams.  Unemployment, foreclosure, and repossession being one of the top three.  At the risk of becoming too personal, there were also many parenting and relationship choices that almost tore that couple in two deeper than the deepest part of the ocean.

As I read the entry my heart broke for my friend.  The tears I know she's cried because she's cried them on my shoulder.  The loneliness, the bitterness, the abandonment, the thoughtlessness, and resentment she has worked through while I sat and listened without speaking.

He ends the entry with a joking poke at how difficult it must have been to stay with him.  Oh ha ha.  Laugh. Laugh.  It isn't funny.

She hasn't learned to love.  She didn't need to.  She has always loved.  She amazes me.