Are We In the Same Marriage? II

     I've been thinking on yesterday's post about a 27 year marriage anniversary.  What if divorce wasn't off the table?  What if it was discussed openly as a viable option?  What if the couple weighed it out?  Because I will be honest here, I've never taken divorce out of the equation.  Not because I'm not a Christian, but because life happens.  The reality is divorce can become the only option in the blink of an eye.  Especially if it's not your eye blinking.

      I'll digress to a moment in time I think I might have already discussed here.  A moment I opened my mouth to a young couple openly considering divorce.  My delightful enlightened spouse offered up the time honored, "It gets better."  Followed by a great deal of blah, blah, and more blah that left me wondering if we were in the same marriage.

     I leaned over to the young bride and told her it doesn't get better.  It gets worse.  If she loves him, get ready to buckle down and work 'cause it ain't no picnic and it never will be for more than a weekend.

     They broke up.  I didn't feel responsible or guilty.  I felt relief for them.  They were miserable and their little boy would have endured much more pain to last a life time.  I don't know what happened to her, he remarried and has a little one on the way.  They seem to be satisfied with their choice.

     The funny thing about the whole "divorce is not an option" mantra is that in my almost 50 years of living, I hear men say it more than women.  Men seem to put that on the end of every comment about marriage.  Some may correct me here with their own experience, but I have never heard a woman say it or agree with it.  I'm speculating and drawing a little on my own experience here.  Usually, it's also a pretty difficult man married to a pretty easy going woman starting out the marriage willing to do absolutely anything for him and finding herself pretty disappointed my the extreme lack of reciprocation.  He doesn't bring anything to the table, so taking divorce off the table is no big deal. 

     I say get it out in the open from day one.  Make it an option.  Think it through and if you are a talking type of couple (we aren't), talk it out and see where it takes you.  Marriage isn't a "Christian" institution.  It's an agreement.  A promise to stay together through all these unimaginable difficulties.  Similar beliefs certainly helps, but I don't think being a Christian saves a marriage any more than "taking divorce off the table."  I don't think it hurts to find out what those deal breakers are and re-visit those things with regularity.  For example, in my book lying is a huge deal breaker.  Cheating comes next, but cheating and lying are pretty close, so that may ultimately be the same thing.  Hiding purchases ranks up there pretty high, as well.  I've known a lot of couples that went through emotional affairs and stayed together, but I don't know any couples that full on cheated and stayed together.  Funny thing is, I don't remember covering the deal breakers in pre-marital counseling.

     You see, I don't know if my husband has ever thought about it.  It amuses me to think about it because it would mean we'd have to talk about dissolving the marriage and he hates to talk enough that I think he'd dismiss the thought to keep from talking.

     I think about it.  I think about it long and hard.  Because of some extenuating circumstances, I don't think about it as much.  I don't like the alternatives.  For me, it's been too long and just doesn't matter anymore.  Yeah, I'd like to have that model marriage full of sensitivity and love.  Hand holding.  Love and affection.  Riding off into our twilight years together.  That's not going to happen, so I take the emotions and sex out of the equation and figure out a way to accept the years to come with wisdom and grace.

   Do yourselves a favor and don't take divorce off the table, or even better, put it back on the table.  Talk openly about what it would take to actually, really and truthfully get you, as a couple, to that point and work backward from there.  If you decide there really isn't anything that would make you want to end it forever, then it's true divorce is probably off the table.  But I offer this as well, revisit the idea of divorce when you are both sane and happy because your views will change with time.  Take my word for it.  Those deal breakers will move up and down the rankings.

Damn, Damn, and Damn

I wanted to run tonight.  My batteries were low on the treadmill so I decided to do my P90X before I ran.  I put the batteries in the charger.  It was X Stretch tonight and it felt so good to do I stuck with the whole DVD and wore myself out.  Later, with fresh batteries in the treadmill, I found something to watch on the computer and settled in to a nice 3.6/3.8 mph pace.  I died after 12 minutes.  I didn't even get to breaking a sweat.  Was it the stretch video or the four miles I ran yesterday?  I don't know, I just know I can't run, so I'll forgive myself and record the one run I did early this morning.

Time: 27 minutes
Interval: 2
Distance: 1.4 miles
Calories: 182
Average Speed: 3.11

Are we in the same marriage?

This is interesting.  I've seen this phenomenon in my circle of friends a few times.  A wedding anniversary approaches and "hubby" waxes sentimental with friends raising his (sometimes metaphorical) wine glass to an admiring crowd and speaking loyally and affectionately about the marriage of five, ten, fifteen (and beyond) years.  I wish I could link to the latest.  27 years.  In a week. 

The first thing  notice is this quote:

" . . . so I've been thinking about that."

All I can say is:

Really?  You've been thinking about 'that?' 

He then proceeds to offer up his ten cents in the form of a single silver bullet:

"Take divorce off the table."

Really.  You are one oblivious man if you think she hasn't thought about it once or twice.

The next offering is our glorious three options:

• be miserable
• work it out and be miserable
• learn to love

Apparently, as the entry continues, he has "learned to love."  Meanwhile I wonder who he is passing out this advice to.  As a confidant, I know as a couple, there has been great suffering as he pursued his dreams.  Unemployment, foreclosure, and repossession being one of the top three.  At the risk of becoming too personal, there were also many parenting and relationship choices that almost tore that couple in two deeper than the deepest part of the ocean.

As I read the entry my heart broke for my friend.  The tears I know she's cried because she's cried them on my shoulder.  The loneliness, the bitterness, the abandonment, the thoughtlessness, and resentment she has worked through while I sat and listened without speaking.

He ends the entry with a joking poke at how difficult it must have been to stay with him.  Oh ha ha.  Laugh. Laugh.  It isn't funny.

She hasn't learned to love.  She didn't need to.  She has always loved.  She amazes me.

IDK . . . Was this a good night?

I did some online research today to try to find a different 10K race and may do one in North Miami in January at Oleta River State Park it's part of the DOWN2EARTH groups of runs.  It's a 10K on trails.  Should be fun.  There doesn't appear to be a time limit like the 7 Mile Bridge Run, but it did say runners needed to be able to "run" the 10K.  I suppose that means I need to not hinder the progress of other runners.

It was a good night for P90X and a good night for running, but not such a good night for eating.  My husband brought home fresh pizza as a leftover from an event he attended.  It really seemed to hit the spot because I at four pieces at 300 calories a piece, that's pretty much my entire day's calories in in one sitting, not to mention I'd already eaten 1,000 calories during the day.  I did a little extra P90X, but I was just too worn out to run any more.

Run I
Time: 26
Interval: 2
Distance: ?
Avg. Speed: ?
Calories: ?

Run II
Time: 60 minutes
Interval: non
Distance: 3.7
Speed: 3.7
Calories: 483
P90X: ALL Ab Ripper X!!
Yoga X: 30 minutes
Kenpo X: 15 minutes

Two exercises on Ab Ripper  I did slight modifications--mason twist and another one I don't understand what he's doing so I turned off the CD and made it into two different exercises.  One the mason twist if I pick up my feet I can't touch the ground, so I left my feet down and did 40 reps.

Kenpo X is so fun.  I wish I had a bag to punch.  I will also be shopping for a few yoga blocks.  I really like P90X and can see it helping my running.  If you can't do it, start like I did.  One minute for one week, two minutes on week two.  Before you know it, you will be adding more than a minute a week and wanting to do more.  The change ups in the workouts really helps with boredom!

I need to change the batteries on my treadmill.

Two Runs

I did two runs today.  Felt a little weak, so I held on quite a bit, but stuck it out to the goal time and distance.

Run I
Time: 60
Interval:4
Distance:3.33
Calories:433
Avg Speed: 3.33

I held on a intermittently after 36 minutes.

Run II
Time: 45
Interval: 3
Distance: 2.49
Calories: 326
Avg Speed: 3.32

Kind of a ho hum day for running, but one thing I notice is that I am consistently running faster than three miles per hour.

P90X
Yoga X: 14
Ab Ripper X: 14
Legs & Back: 14

Logging in Some Motivation

It had been about a week since I logged my workouts.  Between the job hunt, studying for my certs, and some other personal crap I've been dealing with I'm really on the skids.  Sitting down and writing down all the work I did last week really helped me see that even though I may not be fast enough and tough enough to run the seven mile bridge when it comes time, it can still be my goal.  So I will relax today and do some running after while and try to tap into the energy I was feeling at the beginning of the month.  My goal for the last of September is the elusive four 15 minute miles.  That may not seem like much to anyone but me, but I have to remember when I started this venture several years ago, I could barely jog for five minutes and I weighed almost 220 pounds.  I'd been kind of fat my entire life from childhood to adulthood.  Thought I was doomed to feeling gross and huge.  Now I look forward to the day I am back down to 168 and lower.

I'm looking for that magic combination of speed and stamina and one day I will find it.  I didn't do a lot of P90X last week, but I'm not going to let that talk me in to skipping new goals.  I enjoy the Yoga X so much I'm going to do that every day for a while.  I will also be adding a minute to my regular discs and a minute to Ab Ripper X.

13 minutes Yoga X
13 minutes daily disc
14 minutes on Ab Ripper X

Pretty good considering I started with two minutes and couldn't even do the warm up for two minutes!  I was peeing in my pants and holding my boobs.  My feet ached and I wanted to throw up.

I got my resistance band in the mail on Friday, so I will be instituting the pull-up challenge into my daily workout.  Shout out to Rogue Fitness for having the best reviews and best resistance band--ever!  These are like the one in the gym I couldn't afford to go to.  I questioned the choice of 1 3/4" because I was still so weak.  At 174 pounds and unable to do a single pull up, I wanted the next width.  However, I went with what was suggested.  I still can't do a complete pull up, (I can bring my forehead to the bar from a dead hang) but the challenge is there to do that one perfect pull up and then go from there.

Well.  Today should have been the start of this week, but as bummed as I was I decided to give myself a break.  I didn't overeat like I would have done in the past on a day like today.  Tomorrow starts the big push for the last week of September.

No Real Progress

Some time last week I took all the figures for the last three months and put them in an Excel spreadsheet only to discover I have made zero progress.  When I run faster, I don't run as far, when I run slower, I run farther.  I've been bummed about it for days.  The fastest I've done any run is 3.45 and my fastest average is a sad 2.87.  I have to run twice as fast and three times as far to make my goal in about six months.  Why am I not getting any faster?  My fastest run was last month and my second fastest was in July.  If I end September with the fastest run this month, I suppose I can call that progress, but it's not the speed and distance I need to be ready for the bridge run.  I'm beginning to wonder if I will be ready--if I can be be ready.

I overate, So I Overran

Crazy cravings for some really bad food.  Went out and got sticky, greasy, fatty, burgers from the closest drive-thru I could find.  Made my husband sick, bless his heart.  I was disappointed in my choice.  I had a coupon for a Whopper at Burger King.  At least there wouldn't have been any cheese and they are flame broiled.  I also would have skipped the greasy novelty potato side and got fries.  Uggh.  I decided to walk/run/jog it off, so I was up way past midnight clicking off the 700 calories I consumed.

I did five workouts.  What a mess:

Run I
Time: 25
Interval: 2
Distance: ??
Calories: ??
Avg Speed: ??
Forgot to write down the stats.


Run II
Time: 60 (20 and 40)
Interval:  Two 4 minute sets
Distance:  2.42
Calories:314
Avg Speed: 2.42

Run III
Tried the one minute interval in five minute sets, increasing by one each time.  Nothing but confusing and a big waste of time . . . 
Time: 55
Interval:
Distance: 3
Calories: 393
Avg Speed: 3.27

Run IV:
Straight up job at about 3.5 to 3.8 mph for 47 minutes.  Thought I might die of boredom and exhaustion.
Time: 47
Interval: none
Distance: 3
Calories: 391
Avg Speed: 3.82

New record for September.  This is significant.  I made it for 47 minutes at an average 3.82 mph.  Should be encouraged.  I'm not.

Run V:
Time: 14
Interval: none
Distance: .53
Calories: 69
Avg Speed: 2.27
Total waste of 14 minutes.

I think that was about 1,000 calories burned.  The website I log my food and activity only indicates about 2/3 the amount my treadmill shows.  It shows I was short burning off my drive thru debacle by about 150 calories. 

Only One Run Today

I probably shouldnt' call these "runs" as I do an awful lot of walking and my average is not much more than a brisk walk.  Oh well.

Time: 43
Interval: 3
Distance: 2.45
Calories: 394
Avg Speed: 3.42
P90X: #4 12 min and AB Ripper X 13 minutes

I am noticing a lot of progress on the P90X in general.  Seems like that plan is the one thing that is working out better.

Three More Runs

Just trying to push through this blah feeling I've had.  Gonna keep on tryin' and keep on postin'.

Run I
Time: 32
Interval: 2
Distance: 1.88
Calories: 245
Avg Speed: 3.52 (New September Record!)

Run II
Time: 54
Interval: 4
Distance: 2.9
Calories: 394
Avg Speed: 3.2

Run III
Time: 43
Interval: Experimental 15 minute sets 1 - 15 for 15 minutes
Distance: 2.5
Calories: 325
Avg Speed: 3.48

Three Runs

Just trying to stick to some kind of plan and show some progress.  Getting discouraged again.

Run I
Time: 30 min
Interval: 2
Distance: 1.7 miles
Calories: 227
Avg Speed: 3.4

Run II
Time: 53 min
Interval: 4
Distance: 2.84
Calories: 369
Avg Speed: 3.2

Run III
Time: 42 min
Interval: 3
Distance: 2.29
Calories: 299
Avg Speed: 3.27

Two Good Runs

Moved P90X time up to 12 minutes on workout and 13 on Ab Ripper X.  Totally feeling it.  My legs feel like jelly.

Run I
Time: 52
Interval: 4
Distance: 2.75
Calories:358
Speed: 3.17

Run II
Time: 39
Interval: 3
Distance: 2.08
Calories: 270
Speed: 3.2

Total
Time: 91
Interval: 3.5
Distance: 4.83
Calories: 628
Speed: 3.18

Disc #3 P90X

Yesterday Was a Weekly Break

Back at it today, hoping to make a difference.

Time: 28
Interval: 2
Distance: 1.5
Calories: 196
Speed: 3.21

Totally Overate today: 2200 calories

Today is my birthday.  My sister came and took me out for lunch and we went for a disastrous trip to a craft store to buy beads for something to do.  I still felt bad.  Fell asleep in the chair waiting for her to make the 20 minute trek from her house to mine.  Arby's for lunch and my husband made "quesadillas" with some leftover pork loin.  I weighed out what he put in them, but I'm still trashed from this period that has come out of nowhere.  So, I went in to enter my calories and discovered the small breakfast I'd had to offset the Arby's trip did very little to offset the calories in the meat, cheese, and shells.  Later in the evening I knew I had to burn off something because Sunday was coming and I wasn't going to run or log calories on Sunday.

Run I
Interval: 4 minute
Time: 49 min
Distance: 2.4
Calories: 312
Average Speed: 2.93

Run II
Interval: 3 min
Time: 37 min
Distance: 1.84
Calories: 239
Average Speed: 2.98

Totals:
Time: 86
Distance: 4.24
Calories: 551
Average Speed: 2.81

Ready for a distance run in different from running a mile and a half for 15 minutes, but it sure would be nice to find a 20 year old to channel.

Today Is a Yuck Day

I went two months without a period.  Today is making up for it.  I am miserable with pain and feel exhausted.  I wanted to go out to eat.  I was too messed up to cook.   By the time my husband got home I was too messed up to go out.  Perhaps I should have sent him out.  At any rate, I did nothing but sit in front of the TV and sleep off and on.  Kind of worried about what I'm going to do if I have a day like this and I have a job.  Wow.  I really thought this kind of thing would be behind me by now.  Tomorrow is my 47th birthday.

Can't Help But Compare

OK.  I'll admit I have someone I watch in a jealous, and probably not healthy way.  I read her posts and see how much activity she's doing how her fitness is increasing--or not increasing.  I smile coyly when she laments a day without "exercise" or a week since she's been "to the gym."

Today she posted a her personal victory for the day:

1.5 miles in 15 minutes.

That one stung a little because it's too close to my goal of 7 miles in 70 minutes.  I pride myself in not being competitive, but I am the jealous type.  I sometimes want a do over.  I want to be single and in my twenties and thirties.  Eh, enough whining for today here are my stats.  Definitely no 6 minutes miles here.

Interval: 5 min
Time: 52
Distance: 2.5 miles
Calories: 300
Average Speed: 2.88
No P90X

Not even have the distance and the speed I need.  Bleck.

2727 Calories! Holy Smokes!

What a crazy day.  I ate out for lunch and dinner today  I couldn't seem to exercise enough to get rid of what I ate.  I did three rounds on 8, 7, & 6 minute intervals and barely chipped a hole in the calories I ate:

Run I
Interval: 8
Time: 70
Distance: 2.9
Calories: 377
Average Speed: 2.48 

Run II
Interval: 7
Time: 70
Distance: 3.12
Calories: 406
Average Speed: 2.67

Run III
Interval: 6
Time: 70
Distance: 3.35
Calories: 436
Average Speed:2.87

P90X Disc #1: 9 min
Ab Ripper: 10
Calories: 88

Totals:
Time: 210 minutes
Distance: 9.37 mile
Calories:  842
Average Speed:  2.67

1797 calories left over for the day.  Still an amazing 500 calories over for the day.  This is a prime example why some people can't lose weight.  Even if that was only 250 calories, say in a scenario that a person eats out every night, but still manages to do 9 miles in a day, that's a weight gain of something like two pounds a month.  The exact opposite of what I'm trying to do!  I really would like to lose 50 pounds before the Seven Mile Bridge Run in April.  I need to lose seven pounds a month from this point forward.  2800 calorie days are not the answer.

Taking A Chance

I decided to jump in and take a few chances.  Cut my running time down to 60 minutes and shorten my intervals to four minutes.  I didn't make the calorie burn I needed to make, so I returned a little later and did a short run just to make up the calorie and distance goal for the night.

Run I
Time: 48 minutes
Distance: 2.31
Calories: 300
P90X Disc: #11 9 minutes
Ab Ripper X: 10 minutes

Run II
Time: 22 minutes
Distance: 1.2
Calories: 156

Totals:
Time: 70 minutes
Distance: 3.51
Calories: 456

Average speed: 3 mph

3 mph is not was I was looking for in speed.  The problem is going back and starting over.  Doing the warm up and working back up to the jog/run needed to complete the goal distance/time.  Oh well.

A Disappointing Tidbit

I figured out today that all the "readers" on my blog have been automated.  Web domains designed to generate clicks.  No one is reading my blog.  I can take comfort in two ways.  Some of my posts over the years have gotten a little personal, too silly, or even cynical and angry.  Oh well, I suppose a corner of my mind would have liked for the 6,000-plus readers to have been human beings, but now I know there is no real person out there, it explains why no one has ever commented and I can rest a little easier about some of my over sharing.

True Career Changers

I am a what I call a "true" career changer.  Five years ago I had quit another crappy part-time job.  I'd been teaching private lessons out of my home for almost twenty years and couldn't bear another junk job.  What could I do?  The decision to go back to school was an easy one.  I wanted to finish my degree.  My son was graduated from high school and finding his way.  It was my turn.

SMASHED IT!

Wow, what a good night for exercise. My mind was clear.  No negative self-talk, just me and the run.  Increased my P90X time to nine minutes tonight.

Interval: 5 minute
Time: 60
Distance: 3.16
Calories: 412
P90X: Disc #10 9 minutes
AbRipperX: 10+ minutes

Not sure how long I went on the AbRipper.  It was at least 10 minutes.  I probably could have gone longer, but I didn't want to ruin my muscles for tomorrow's workout.  I'll try ten minutes again.  Who knows?

Still haven't begun to touch maintaining the speed I need to begin chipping away at the Seven Mile Bridge goal.  So-o-o-o frustrating.

The Tech Support, Help Desk Dumping Station

True career changers need to be aware, so I can't stress the addition of tech skills to any IT position.  The problem is, employers don't get it.  We don't all graduate knowing how to do help desk and tech support--at least I didn't.  What does this mean?  What does it mean, the unavoidable occurrence that every position I look at includes the Tech Support Help Desk Dumping Station.  I suppose as the weeks tick by and we get closer and closer to being out of money, out of credit and out of time, the only thing standing in my way of getting in the door to even have my application land on an actual desk and not in the trash is two things:

Experience and the ability to perform tech support and help desk duties.  I keep saying it, and I'm sure my family gets tired of hearing it.  Why didn't I know this?

True career changers, pay heed:

Start those certifications early.  Don't be like me.  Face with some very expensive tuition and an incomplete education experience.  The big three (or four) are out there and can be achieved by the time you graduate, if you start early:

CompTia Strata IT Fundamentals, A+, Network+, and Security+.

Making It (IT) My World

I finished school about three weeks ago and it has taken that long to realize this is my new life.  I have a something that I know how to do and degree to prove it.  It feels surreal and exciting.  I feel myself wrapping myself up in technology stuff.  Watching and listening.  Wanting to immerse myself in it.  It feels good to be authentic.  For so many years I played teacher, or musician, or secretary.  This is my thing.  IT.  I'm authentic now and it feels way too cool to let it go now.

Insurance Woes and The Pains of Memory Lane

I'm forced to do a little navel gazing this weekend.  What is my/our financial track record?  What has proven true with us time and time again?  The one thing I can put my finger on is:

Nothing, and I mean nothing, ever, ever goes as planned.

At 46, it appears we have to make "that" decision about life insurance.  We had a very meaty policy when our son was young, we were young and allegedly had higher debt.  The idea is now to readjust the policy based on the needs forecast for the next 20 years.

These are tough times.  Since we started our policy, we bought a much too big house, acquired a car payment we didn't have then and I'm not making any money because I'm unemployed going on five years.  We have dipped into our savings (and other people's savings) time and time again.  Our son has moved out and created his own life.  What does the future hold for us?  We do not have 20 years left on our mortgage, I imagine we will have a car payment as it seems we have never been able to go more than a few months without one.  What if I get a job?  What if I land that dream job that changes our situation forever.  Sure would be nice.

The truth is I've had plenty of nice jobs along the way.  Great jobs at churches, family owned companies and thriving chains.  However nice they were, they were always what I have affectionately come to call "Junk Jobs."  Those jobs that come into our life and out of life.  That job we "loved" for the first year, but hated by the end of the second.  That way too cool job with the great paycheck that didn't have that much responsibility, but ends in a cloud of smoke.  I've had them all.

As I'm writing this, I'm thinking of how much more eventful the next 20 years could be.  Retirement.  A wedding?  Grandchild(ren)?  Wow, it is so surreal. to think about planning for the next 20 when the first 20 were so bittersweet.

It's a gamble and I don't understand gambling.  So What is the answer?  Here's what I think about and what others should probably think about.

20 years from now, we will be 66.  Close, if not ready, or retired already.  We have less than 20 years on our mortgage, so perhaps it will be gone.  If we buy again, I imagine it will be a smaller house closer to wherever it is we work.  The equity from this house should help us in the purchase of a new house if that day comes.

Another thought:  If my husband passes away before my son gets married, I can hold onto the money to help them with their wedding and lives that follow.  Make it nice for them both.  Is that my place?  Am I fulfilling someone else's (my own) dream?  Probably.  Who cares?  My husband died.  I can do strange things with the money.

My grandparents on my mother's side died in the seventies.  My grandmother on my father's side died of cancer and my grandfather died of complications of Alzheimer's in his early 80s.  My husband never knew his grandfathers on both sides and his grandmother on his father's side.  His grandmother and aunt died in their 80s.  Diabetes, hypertension, stroke, obesity . . . it's all in there.  Is this the right thing to be thinking about?  Statistically speaking we are looking at an additional 20 years after the next policy expires.

I don't know if I've made an headway here, but my brain hurts thinking about those things no one likes to think about.

What exactly are we insuring?  Our future.  The one that's left over after one or the other passes on.

Day Six: Addendum

We went out for Chinese food at a hibachi grill last night.  It was so-o-o good.  Consequently, I am up two pounds from last night.  Not sure if it's salt or calories, as I did go over my calorie intake for the day by 200 calories, but Chinese food is so salty--at least traditionally it is.

At any rate, I came home and put some time in on the treadmill:

Time: 50 min
Distance: 2.19
Calories: 285

I'm not too upset as I did a little research and found that the broccoli and chicken was probably one of the healthier foods I could have chosen.  Nothing fried.  I couldn't find an accurate caloric count for the meal, but I guessed from looking at other Chicken and Broccoli dishes online, it was probably around 400+ calories and I ate a good 200+ calories of rice, but rice is the worst of my troubles.

Not The Workout It Should Have Been

Today is my dad's birthday, so I decided to give him that "quick" birthday call while I was warming up on the treadmill.  40 minutes later, I was still talking, so, needless to say, the real meat of tonight's workout was crammed into the last 10 minutes of the 60 minutes workout that was supposed to be 55.  Confused?  I am.

Time: 60 minutes
Distance: 2.5 miles
Calories: 325

No P90X or Ab Ripper X.  Tomorrow is a rest day, and we're supposed to have company.  Today's P90X workout is lost.  Monday starts 9 minutes!

IT Strata Fundamentals VS A+ Certification

I've been doing some research on the A+ and Strata certs.  There are a lot of opinions out there.  First, the Strata is $103 and and the A+ is $183.  There are 70 questions and the A+ just has gobs more.  It looks like the Strata is just plain easier.  I've found some conflicting evidence that that Strata is an actual certification.  I also wanted to find out if companies were recognizing the test in the same reverent light that A+, Network+, and Security+ have come to enjoy.  Not so sure on that one.  The Strata series is relatively new.  It's bringing out the dyed in the wool skeptics.  I like the idea of another series of tests.  I've been looking for a job in IT for over a year, and it seems "experience" is that dirty little secret college recruiters won't tell us.  The Strata series shows potential employers this student knows these skills.  It still doesn't replace the golden chalice of experience, but I think it brings those of us trying to break in to the mysterious world of IT an extra leg up.

Here's my opinion.  Employers claim--complain--there aren't enough tech people out there to fill the positions, yet so far every job I have looked at has required no less than five years experience and usually includes a l-o-n-g list of requirements and preferences.  I have even looked at entry level positions that require several certifications.  I have never seen a job description that includes A+ or Strata as a requirement.  That said, for the hundred bucks, if a job seeker can pass the test with at least a 70%, it's just that one more thing to put on the resume that says, "Take a Chance on me."

I have four years of school behind me and a degree in IT/IS.  I'm working on my A+ for about six months now and don't feel anywhere near ready.  I am super tempted to take the Strata and then take the A+.  My mom is supposed to be sending me some money for graduation.  If there's an extra $100 in there I may consider it as a preparation for A+.

Day Six: Slow Pace Jog and Mystery cravings.

I ended up doing a slow pace jog this morning.  My foot felt pretty good when I got up this morning, so I tried a little jogging for about five minutes.

Time: 45 min
Distance: 1.83 miles
Calories: 238
P90X: 7 min -  #9 and Ab Ripper X

I've also been doing some research on why we want to eat the things we want to eat.  Seems a little silly, but I like that theory that our bodies don't truly crave anything that it can't use.  Maybe it's our brains that want that piece of cake.  Yesterday was another day that I was hit so suddenly with the urge to eat something chocolate and sugary I didn't even realize I'd spooned up several spoonfuls of frosting before I caught myself.  It's a mystery I intend to continue to investigate.

Day Five: Let Me Hear Your Body Talk

I did a little research on the sudden sugar cravings I've been having lately.  I think I've been misinterpreting the "sugar" my body is asking for.  Apparently it's a good thing for our bodies to crave various things.  It's the way it communicates its needs to us.  In this case, I need to eat more sugar, but not the kind of sugar I've been translating it to mean.  I have to reason my body would not be craving something it can't use.  i.e. simple carbs that just burn up in an instant and leave me feeling crappy the rest of the day.

I couldn't do it today because I'm broke until tomorrow, but I'm going to pick up some fruits, nuts, and raw veggies.  When my body starts craving fats, I'll eat nuts.  When it craves sweets, I'll eat fruit.  When it craves energy, I'll eat lean meat and make sure I'm drinking plenty of water.  The point is my body needs healthy fuel.  When those "knocks and pings" come along it doesn't mean to put in more crappy fuel.

Today's workout was just the usual:

Time: 45 minutes
Distance: 1.56 miles
Calories: 203
Disc: 7 minutes -- #8 and Ab Ripper X

Probably going to stick to walking through until at least Saturday.  I'll see how my foot feels Saturday morning.

Day Four: Addendum

I went and ate something I shouldn't.  Something high calorie, high carb and embarrassing.  I decided I'd walk it off and watch some TV while I was at it.  I did three more five minute rounds:

Round I

Time: 25 minutes
Distance: .78 miles
Calories: 101

Round II

Time: 30 minutes
Distance: 1.02 miles
Calories: 132

Round III

Time: 35 minutes
Distance: 1.29 miles
Calories: 167

My new totals for the day:

Time: 110 minutes
Distance: 3.68 miles
Calories: 477

I still want to favor my foot, so I probably won't run until the weekend.

Day Four: I Need To Ask You Something

Since I've cut my "running" time so short, I've been trying to get on the treadmill first thing in the morning and so far it's been nice to get it out of the way before the day begins.  This is my third day returning to a calorie counting regime.  I forgot how rewarding it was to record my activities and foods I eat (and didn't eat) for the day.  I'm sure I recommended this site in the past, but I am reposting the link to Calorie Count.  There was no amount of exercise that compares to the success I had the year I dedicated to watching every thing that went into my mouth.  I am 50 lbs down from about four years ago, but half of it came off in the last year.

My phone(s) rang today.  I knew it was someone I really didn't want to talk to, so I didn't answer.  There was  a message on my home phone and cell phone.  Why not just ask me what you want instead of telling me you have a question?  Maybe that's the way it's done.  I don't know, but I hate to get a message that says, "Call me, I need to ask you something."

I did everything I was supposed to do today and was done by 9:30:

Time: 20
Distance: .59
Calories: 77
Disc: #7

Day Three: Foot Feeling a Little Better

My foot has improved dramatically from what I had over the weekend.  Still managed to do seven minutes each P90X and Ab Ripper X and a short 15 minute walk.  Returning to counting calories has helped a lot.  I need to figure out a way to save some calories for a snack before I go to bed and figure out some under 100 calorie snacks I can enjoy.  Perhaps a trip to the grocery store for something I can divide up into 100 calorie portions would do the trick.

Distance: .37 miles
Time: 15 minutes
Calories: 50
Disc: #6

Today, the Seven Mile Bridge Run is far from my mind with newly recovered knees and a bad foot.  Need to stay with rest the foot for a few more days.  Maybe Sunday I can do a little jogging.

New Month New Goals New Strategies

I wanted to increase my challenge and progress with P90X this month, so I am going to try to add two minutes a week instead of the initial one minute a week I did last month.  Tonight was the first night to do seven  minutes.  I really felt it in the Ab Ripper X.  At seven minutes, disc 5 is still in the warm-up.  Still resting my foot.

Distance: .24
Time: 10
Calories: 32
Disc #5: 7 min
Ab Ripper X: 7 min

On a side note, I returned to Calorie Count and realized my food consumption has begun to creep up which definitely explains the plateau in weight I've been on the last three or four months.  I'm going to try to stick to it pretty close for the next three months and see if I can't lose for good those eight pounds that have been haunting my since April.

Slowing Down

My left foot is giving me troubles again.  I'm pretty sure it's Morton's Neuroma.  I remember the day my feet began to bother me.  We'd done a show.  It must have been fall or winter because I was wearing a pair of my favorite lace up high heels.  We were walking to the restaurant to eat afterward and I remember feeling pain in the area between my heels and arches.  That turned out to be what I think was Plantar Fascitis.  It too returns periodically, but not as bad as that first time.  It was painful to get out of bed.

So here is what I think is Morton's Neuroma.  Pain, tingling, numbness in the third and fourth toes of my left foot and a feeling of pressure discomfort between the metatarsal bones.  There's a nerve that runs between them on their way out to the toes.  I'm pretty flat footed, so that adds an additional propensity.  I massaged and massaged the area today.  I did a very short walk and then did some ice and heat combination.  No P90X since Thursday.  I did not do any exercise yesterday or this morning other than walking from here to there kind of thing.  Hopefully that will help it.  It is very uncomfortable right now.

Distance: .11
Time: 5 minutes
Calories: 15

Might as well have been a rest day.  I wanted to do something with the new month and feeling of starting fresh.  I'm not sure why in two months I was unable to conquer the six minute interval workout.  Thinking I might need a new strategy.  I want to start five minutes intervals and give my foot time to heal.  I am going to do some short walks starting a five minute interval workout this week and see if some of the inflammation goes down.