Cumbersome and Coming to a Decision

I suppose this could be Part 4 of Deal Breaker and a Coin Show . . .

I started this entry before my husband hurt me so badly.  It's funny to look at it and know what happened.

"You know I heard the song Cumbersome for the first time the other day in light of my decaying relationship with my husband and I see a lot of parallels.  Most of our interaction is him trying to get me out of his hair.  Appeasing me so I will move on to something else while he does whatever he wants.

After we had the worst month we've had in a very long time, he's going to a coin show tomorrow.  I cancelled dinner plans with friends several times this month because of our finances.  The last time I turned down an invitation I did it in front of him.  I told my friend that we were going to have to watch our pennies closely until I can find a job.  We were limited our activities to save money.

So, he's going to this coin show.  He will buy . . ."

We did not have enough money to buy toilet paper this month.  I used washcloths.  I prayed my period didn't come because I am out of tampons.  I have endometriosis and fibroids.  I have to use a tampon and pads to control accidents.  I canceled a doctor's appointment because the procedure did not cover $45 of the $95.

I have figured out he wants me out of his hair so he can do whatever he wants and not be questioned.  I am the reason he doesn't get to do whatever he wants.  Tonight I have decided we need a separation.  There are things he needs to learn.  As long as I am the one teaching him he will resent me.  He can't learn  and have me not pay the consequences.