Today Is a Yuck Day

I went two months without a period.  Today is making up for it.  I am miserable with pain and feel exhausted.  I wanted to go out to eat.  I was too messed up to cook.   By the time my husband got home I was too messed up to go out.  Perhaps I should have sent him out.  At any rate, I did nothing but sit in front of the TV and sleep off and on.  Kind of worried about what I'm going to do if I have a day like this and I have a job.  Wow.  I really thought this kind of thing would be behind me by now.  Tomorrow is my 47th birthday.

Can't Help But Compare

OK.  I'll admit I have someone I watch in a jealous, and probably not healthy way.  I read her posts and see how much activity she's doing how her fitness is increasing--or not increasing.  I smile coyly when she laments a day without "exercise" or a week since she's been "to the gym."

Today she posted a her personal victory for the day:

1.5 miles in 15 minutes.

That one stung a little because it's too close to my goal of 7 miles in 70 minutes.  I pride myself in not being competitive, but I am the jealous type.  I sometimes want a do over.  I want to be single and in my twenties and thirties.  Eh, enough whining for today here are my stats.  Definitely no 6 minutes miles here.

Interval: 5 min
Time: 52
Distance: 2.5 miles
Calories: 300
Average Speed: 2.88
No P90X

Not even have the distance and the speed I need.  Bleck.

2727 Calories! Holy Smokes!

What a crazy day.  I ate out for lunch and dinner today  I couldn't seem to exercise enough to get rid of what I ate.  I did three rounds on 8, 7, & 6 minute intervals and barely chipped a hole in the calories I ate:

Run I
Interval: 8
Time: 70
Distance: 2.9
Calories: 377
Average Speed: 2.48 

Run II
Interval: 7
Time: 70
Distance: 3.12
Calories: 406
Average Speed: 2.67

Run III
Interval: 6
Time: 70
Distance: 3.35
Calories: 436
Average Speed:2.87

P90X Disc #1: 9 min
Ab Ripper: 10
Calories: 88

Totals:
Time: 210 minutes
Distance: 9.37 mile
Calories:  842
Average Speed:  2.67

1797 calories left over for the day.  Still an amazing 500 calories over for the day.  This is a prime example why some people can't lose weight.  Even if that was only 250 calories, say in a scenario that a person eats out every night, but still manages to do 9 miles in a day, that's a weight gain of something like two pounds a month.  The exact opposite of what I'm trying to do!  I really would like to lose 50 pounds before the Seven Mile Bridge Run in April.  I need to lose seven pounds a month from this point forward.  2800 calorie days are not the answer.

Taking A Chance

I decided to jump in and take a few chances.  Cut my running time down to 60 minutes and shorten my intervals to four minutes.  I didn't make the calorie burn I needed to make, so I returned a little later and did a short run just to make up the calorie and distance goal for the night.

Run I
Time: 48 minutes
Distance: 2.31
Calories: 300
P90X Disc: #11 9 minutes
Ab Ripper X: 10 minutes

Run II
Time: 22 minutes
Distance: 1.2
Calories: 156

Totals:
Time: 70 minutes
Distance: 3.51
Calories: 456

Average speed: 3 mph

3 mph is not was I was looking for in speed.  The problem is going back and starting over.  Doing the warm up and working back up to the jog/run needed to complete the goal distance/time.  Oh well.

A Disappointing Tidbit

I figured out today that all the "readers" on my blog have been automated.  Web domains designed to generate clicks.  No one is reading my blog.  I can take comfort in two ways.  Some of my posts over the years have gotten a little personal, too silly, or even cynical and angry.  Oh well, I suppose a corner of my mind would have liked for the 6,000-plus readers to have been human beings, but now I know there is no real person out there, it explains why no one has ever commented and I can rest a little easier about some of my over sharing.

True Career Changers

I am a what I call a "true" career changer.  Five years ago I had quit another crappy part-time job.  I'd been teaching private lessons out of my home for almost twenty years and couldn't bear another junk job.  What could I do?  The decision to go back to school was an easy one.  I wanted to finish my degree.  My son was graduated from high school and finding his way.  It was my turn.

SMASHED IT!

Wow, what a good night for exercise. My mind was clear.  No negative self-talk, just me and the run.  Increased my P90X time to nine minutes tonight.

Interval: 5 minute
Time: 60
Distance: 3.16
Calories: 412
P90X: Disc #10 9 minutes
AbRipperX: 10+ minutes

Not sure how long I went on the AbRipper.  It was at least 10 minutes.  I probably could have gone longer, but I didn't want to ruin my muscles for tomorrow's workout.  I'll try ten minutes again.  Who knows?

Still haven't begun to touch maintaining the speed I need to begin chipping away at the Seven Mile Bridge goal.  So-o-o-o frustrating.

The Tech Support, Help Desk Dumping Station

True career changers need to be aware, so I can't stress the addition of tech skills to any IT position.  The problem is, employers don't get it.  We don't all graduate knowing how to do help desk and tech support--at least I didn't.  What does this mean?  What does it mean, the unavoidable occurrence that every position I look at includes the Tech Support Help Desk Dumping Station.  I suppose as the weeks tick by and we get closer and closer to being out of money, out of credit and out of time, the only thing standing in my way of getting in the door to even have my application land on an actual desk and not in the trash is two things:

Experience and the ability to perform tech support and help desk duties.  I keep saying it, and I'm sure my family gets tired of hearing it.  Why didn't I know this?

True career changers, pay heed:

Start those certifications early.  Don't be like me.  Face with some very expensive tuition and an incomplete education experience.  The big three (or four) are out there and can be achieved by the time you graduate, if you start early:

CompTia Strata IT Fundamentals, A+, Network+, and Security+.

Making It (IT) My World

I finished school about three weeks ago and it has taken that long to realize this is my new life.  I have a something that I know how to do and degree to prove it.  It feels surreal and exciting.  I feel myself wrapping myself up in technology stuff.  Watching and listening.  Wanting to immerse myself in it.  It feels good to be authentic.  For so many years I played teacher, or musician, or secretary.  This is my thing.  IT.  I'm authentic now and it feels way too cool to let it go now.

Insurance Woes and The Pains of Memory Lane

I'm forced to do a little navel gazing this weekend.  What is my/our financial track record?  What has proven true with us time and time again?  The one thing I can put my finger on is:

Nothing, and I mean nothing, ever, ever goes as planned.

At 46, it appears we have to make "that" decision about life insurance.  We had a very meaty policy when our son was young, we were young and allegedly had higher debt.  The idea is now to readjust the policy based on the needs forecast for the next 20 years.

These are tough times.  Since we started our policy, we bought a much too big house, acquired a car payment we didn't have then and I'm not making any money because I'm unemployed going on five years.  We have dipped into our savings (and other people's savings) time and time again.  Our son has moved out and created his own life.  What does the future hold for us?  We do not have 20 years left on our mortgage, I imagine we will have a car payment as it seems we have never been able to go more than a few months without one.  What if I get a job?  What if I land that dream job that changes our situation forever.  Sure would be nice.

The truth is I've had plenty of nice jobs along the way.  Great jobs at churches, family owned companies and thriving chains.  However nice they were, they were always what I have affectionately come to call "Junk Jobs."  Those jobs that come into our life and out of life.  That job we "loved" for the first year, but hated by the end of the second.  That way too cool job with the great paycheck that didn't have that much responsibility, but ends in a cloud of smoke.  I've had them all.

As I'm writing this, I'm thinking of how much more eventful the next 20 years could be.  Retirement.  A wedding?  Grandchild(ren)?  Wow, it is so surreal. to think about planning for the next 20 when the first 20 were so bittersweet.

It's a gamble and I don't understand gambling.  So What is the answer?  Here's what I think about and what others should probably think about.

20 years from now, we will be 66.  Close, if not ready, or retired already.  We have less than 20 years on our mortgage, so perhaps it will be gone.  If we buy again, I imagine it will be a smaller house closer to wherever it is we work.  The equity from this house should help us in the purchase of a new house if that day comes.

Another thought:  If my husband passes away before my son gets married, I can hold onto the money to help them with their wedding and lives that follow.  Make it nice for them both.  Is that my place?  Am I fulfilling someone else's (my own) dream?  Probably.  Who cares?  My husband died.  I can do strange things with the money.

My grandparents on my mother's side died in the seventies.  My grandmother on my father's side died of cancer and my grandfather died of complications of Alzheimer's in his early 80s.  My husband never knew his grandfathers on both sides and his grandmother on his father's side.  His grandmother and aunt died in their 80s.  Diabetes, hypertension, stroke, obesity . . . it's all in there.  Is this the right thing to be thinking about?  Statistically speaking we are looking at an additional 20 years after the next policy expires.

I don't know if I've made an headway here, but my brain hurts thinking about those things no one likes to think about.

What exactly are we insuring?  Our future.  The one that's left over after one or the other passes on.

Day Six: Addendum

We went out for Chinese food at a hibachi grill last night.  It was so-o-o good.  Consequently, I am up two pounds from last night.  Not sure if it's salt or calories, as I did go over my calorie intake for the day by 200 calories, but Chinese food is so salty--at least traditionally it is.

At any rate, I came home and put some time in on the treadmill:

Time: 50 min
Distance: 2.19
Calories: 285

I'm not too upset as I did a little research and found that the broccoli and chicken was probably one of the healthier foods I could have chosen.  Nothing fried.  I couldn't find an accurate caloric count for the meal, but I guessed from looking at other Chicken and Broccoli dishes online, it was probably around 400+ calories and I ate a good 200+ calories of rice, but rice is the worst of my troubles.

Not The Workout It Should Have Been

Today is my dad's birthday, so I decided to give him that "quick" birthday call while I was warming up on the treadmill.  40 minutes later, I was still talking, so, needless to say, the real meat of tonight's workout was crammed into the last 10 minutes of the 60 minutes workout that was supposed to be 55.  Confused?  I am.

Time: 60 minutes
Distance: 2.5 miles
Calories: 325

No P90X or Ab Ripper X.  Tomorrow is a rest day, and we're supposed to have company.  Today's P90X workout is lost.  Monday starts 9 minutes!

IT Strata Fundamentals VS A+ Certification

I've been doing some research on the A+ and Strata certs.  There are a lot of opinions out there.  First, the Strata is $103 and and the A+ is $183.  There are 70 questions and the A+ just has gobs more.  It looks like the Strata is just plain easier.  I've found some conflicting evidence that that Strata is an actual certification.  I also wanted to find out if companies were recognizing the test in the same reverent light that A+, Network+, and Security+ have come to enjoy.  Not so sure on that one.  The Strata series is relatively new.  It's bringing out the dyed in the wool skeptics.  I like the idea of another series of tests.  I've been looking for a job in IT for over a year, and it seems "experience" is that dirty little secret college recruiters won't tell us.  The Strata series shows potential employers this student knows these skills.  It still doesn't replace the golden chalice of experience, but I think it brings those of us trying to break in to the mysterious world of IT an extra leg up.

Here's my opinion.  Employers claim--complain--there aren't enough tech people out there to fill the positions, yet so far every job I have looked at has required no less than five years experience and usually includes a l-o-n-g list of requirements and preferences.  I have even looked at entry level positions that require several certifications.  I have never seen a job description that includes A+ or Strata as a requirement.  That said, for the hundred bucks, if a job seeker can pass the test with at least a 70%, it's just that one more thing to put on the resume that says, "Take a Chance on me."

I have four years of school behind me and a degree in IT/IS.  I'm working on my A+ for about six months now and don't feel anywhere near ready.  I am super tempted to take the Strata and then take the A+.  My mom is supposed to be sending me some money for graduation.  If there's an extra $100 in there I may consider it as a preparation for A+.

Day Six: Slow Pace Jog and Mystery cravings.

I ended up doing a slow pace jog this morning.  My foot felt pretty good when I got up this morning, so I tried a little jogging for about five minutes.

Time: 45 min
Distance: 1.83 miles
Calories: 238
P90X: 7 min -  #9 and Ab Ripper X

I've also been doing some research on why we want to eat the things we want to eat.  Seems a little silly, but I like that theory that our bodies don't truly crave anything that it can't use.  Maybe it's our brains that want that piece of cake.  Yesterday was another day that I was hit so suddenly with the urge to eat something chocolate and sugary I didn't even realize I'd spooned up several spoonfuls of frosting before I caught myself.  It's a mystery I intend to continue to investigate.

Day Five: Let Me Hear Your Body Talk

I did a little research on the sudden sugar cravings I've been having lately.  I think I've been misinterpreting the "sugar" my body is asking for.  Apparently it's a good thing for our bodies to crave various things.  It's the way it communicates its needs to us.  In this case, I need to eat more sugar, but not the kind of sugar I've been translating it to mean.  I have to reason my body would not be craving something it can't use.  i.e. simple carbs that just burn up in an instant and leave me feeling crappy the rest of the day.

I couldn't do it today because I'm broke until tomorrow, but I'm going to pick up some fruits, nuts, and raw veggies.  When my body starts craving fats, I'll eat nuts.  When it craves sweets, I'll eat fruit.  When it craves energy, I'll eat lean meat and make sure I'm drinking plenty of water.  The point is my body needs healthy fuel.  When those "knocks and pings" come along it doesn't mean to put in more crappy fuel.

Today's workout was just the usual:

Time: 45 minutes
Distance: 1.56 miles
Calories: 203
Disc: 7 minutes -- #8 and Ab Ripper X

Probably going to stick to walking through until at least Saturday.  I'll see how my foot feels Saturday morning.

Day Four: Addendum

I went and ate something I shouldn't.  Something high calorie, high carb and embarrassing.  I decided I'd walk it off and watch some TV while I was at it.  I did three more five minute rounds:

Round I

Time: 25 minutes
Distance: .78 miles
Calories: 101

Round II

Time: 30 minutes
Distance: 1.02 miles
Calories: 132

Round III

Time: 35 minutes
Distance: 1.29 miles
Calories: 167

My new totals for the day:

Time: 110 minutes
Distance: 3.68 miles
Calories: 477

I still want to favor my foot, so I probably won't run until the weekend.

Day Four: I Need To Ask You Something

Since I've cut my "running" time so short, I've been trying to get on the treadmill first thing in the morning and so far it's been nice to get it out of the way before the day begins.  This is my third day returning to a calorie counting regime.  I forgot how rewarding it was to record my activities and foods I eat (and didn't eat) for the day.  I'm sure I recommended this site in the past, but I am reposting the link to Calorie Count.  There was no amount of exercise that compares to the success I had the year I dedicated to watching every thing that went into my mouth.  I am 50 lbs down from about four years ago, but half of it came off in the last year.

My phone(s) rang today.  I knew it was someone I really didn't want to talk to, so I didn't answer.  There was  a message on my home phone and cell phone.  Why not just ask me what you want instead of telling me you have a question?  Maybe that's the way it's done.  I don't know, but I hate to get a message that says, "Call me, I need to ask you something."

I did everything I was supposed to do today and was done by 9:30:

Time: 20
Distance: .59
Calories: 77
Disc: #7

Day Three: Foot Feeling a Little Better

My foot has improved dramatically from what I had over the weekend.  Still managed to do seven minutes each P90X and Ab Ripper X and a short 15 minute walk.  Returning to counting calories has helped a lot.  I need to figure out a way to save some calories for a snack before I go to bed and figure out some under 100 calorie snacks I can enjoy.  Perhaps a trip to the grocery store for something I can divide up into 100 calorie portions would do the trick.

Distance: .37 miles
Time: 15 minutes
Calories: 50
Disc: #6

Today, the Seven Mile Bridge Run is far from my mind with newly recovered knees and a bad foot.  Need to stay with rest the foot for a few more days.  Maybe Sunday I can do a little jogging.

New Month New Goals New Strategies

I wanted to increase my challenge and progress with P90X this month, so I am going to try to add two minutes a week instead of the initial one minute a week I did last month.  Tonight was the first night to do seven  minutes.  I really felt it in the Ab Ripper X.  At seven minutes, disc 5 is still in the warm-up.  Still resting my foot.

Distance: .24
Time: 10
Calories: 32
Disc #5: 7 min
Ab Ripper X: 7 min

On a side note, I returned to Calorie Count and realized my food consumption has begun to creep up which definitely explains the plateau in weight I've been on the last three or four months.  I'm going to try to stick to it pretty close for the next three months and see if I can't lose for good those eight pounds that have been haunting my since April.

Slowing Down

My left foot is giving me troubles again.  I'm pretty sure it's Morton's Neuroma.  I remember the day my feet began to bother me.  We'd done a show.  It must have been fall or winter because I was wearing a pair of my favorite lace up high heels.  We were walking to the restaurant to eat afterward and I remember feeling pain in the area between my heels and arches.  That turned out to be what I think was Plantar Fascitis.  It too returns periodically, but not as bad as that first time.  It was painful to get out of bed.

So here is what I think is Morton's Neuroma.  Pain, tingling, numbness in the third and fourth toes of my left foot and a feeling of pressure discomfort between the metatarsal bones.  There's a nerve that runs between them on their way out to the toes.  I'm pretty flat footed, so that adds an additional propensity.  I massaged and massaged the area today.  I did a very short walk and then did some ice and heat combination.  No P90X since Thursday.  I did not do any exercise yesterday or this morning other than walking from here to there kind of thing.  Hopefully that will help it.  It is very uncomfortable right now.

Distance: .11
Time: 5 minutes
Calories: 15

Might as well have been a rest day.  I wanted to do something with the new month and feeling of starting fresh.  I'm not sure why in two months I was unable to conquer the six minute interval workout.  Thinking I might need a new strategy.  I want to start five minutes intervals and give my foot time to heal.  I am going to do some short walks starting a five minute interval workout this week and see if some of the inflammation goes down.