I'm really having a rough time tonight. Something happened that I thought would be a moment that my husband and I would end up in a knock down drag out fight or we'd at least talk about what happened, instead, like all the time. Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
He just sat there. For 30 minutes, we just sat there. I asked him to say what he was feeling, say what he was thinking. He said it wouldn't change anything. Still I felt like he blamed me. That somehow he reasoned that this thing, this thing that happened was mostly if not all my fault. That for some reason, I made it happend, let it happen or maybe in some way did it on purpose.
Still, he said nothing. I told him to say something because now was the time. He wanted to know why "now" was the time. I told him we were both together, quiet and serious. Now was the perfect time. He didn't offer up anything forgiveness, exoneration, disapproval.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
So instead of feeling relieved I feel angry, disappointed, alone and unappreciated. I feel discarded, disrespected, and most of all like this is just going to be another nothing between us.
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