I imagine one of these days the bitterness I feel for churches, pastors and organized religion will subside, but for now, my antenna are up and alert when it comes to such things.
I spent the evening with a friend and her daughter. The friend used to be the assistant principal at my son's (now 23) elementary school, so we've known each other for quite some time. Her daughter recently entered our lives via her husband. Not because of, but in spite of.
I always wanted to ask "the question" about her ex husband and what prompted her to leave him after 25 years of marriage, however, I didn't know her well enough yet. Last night, on a long drive to a musical we were all attending, she spoke of him and her children and I just listened.
Her husband is a mean person. Self absorbed and self serving. He is also a Christian. She spoke of him for many miles as if he was a pastor or had been a pastor. So I asked her.
"Is your ex-husband a pastor?"
She answered quickly, "No, he just thinks he is." The comment from her was so full of resentment I knew the next several miles would be filled with more of her life with him. Apparently when he wasn't wooing potential Christians, or being a wonderful example of the Christian walk to others, he was emotionally and verbally abusive to the family--their five children and his wife. Their heated arguments and fighting lasting deep into the night when she chose to stand up to him or long spells of silence when she did not.
Somewhere in there she didn't love him anymore, she didn't blame him, she didn't hate him, but had chosen to leave him. The adult children were still angry and many had sought counseling.
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