I think if we live long enough, we have that chapter or moment that we'd just like to forget. One such event is a location I have to drive by just about every day. The location is a former employer. What a mess. I really liked that job, but when things turned sour. The honeymoon was over. I quit when the going got tough, while at the same time, the going never should have gotten tough.
I drove by the building with my husband in the car. I looked over at the building and made the statement that set the tone for the rest of the afternoon.
"Have you ever had that thing that you just kind of stay angry about?" I paused for about a second and continued. "What happened there never should have happened. I think 51% of it was my fault, but it just never should have happened. I still get angry about it. Not anger like rage, but that annoyed kind of anger that it still bugs me. Just a little."
My husband basically asked me when I was going to let that go. Of course, I got angry at him. He's lived such a charmed life. I asked him if there was anything in his life that still kind of bugged him, even just a little. He couldn't think of anything, so that made me more angry. Finally, the remaining five minutes of the ride home was laced with me becoming even more angry because he'd never been hurt that badly, or affected that greatly by something he had no control over. Must be nice.
The conversation ended with me telling him I was sorry I had things in my life that were bigger than I was. Things I couldn't just drop, let go, or forget.
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