My husband and I are back going through one of those phases I guess couples go through. He doesn't care and I pretend it doesn't bother me. I suppose I could end the discussion there and save myself some time writing a blog, however, that's not the reason people write blogs.
The big picture is I'm trying very hard to gently phase us into the time in our lives when I will be going back to work. It's going to be quite a shock for both of us and even though I've thought about it a lot. I'm not sure who will be affected most. The career path I have chosen is not going to be easy. It will take a while to gain momentum, but I think in a few years, I will be making some pretty good money. However, I don't think it will be an easy transition when it comes to our home life. So, consequently, I've been a little more critical that usual lately. Most of the time I just let it go. I'm home all the time I'll pick it up, wipe it off, clean it out, etc. Those days are quickly fleeting, so I have begun point things out like food left on dishes put away from the dishwasher. Toothpaste on the faucet. Facial hair around the sink. Picking up behind ourselves, etc. I tried very hard to make it a group effort. For months I adamantly stood by the "we" and the "our" in critical statements. As time progresses, nothing is changing and I will admit that I am stepping it up a bit. I am pointing out specific things. I try not to bring anything up two days in a row. I try not to bring up more than one or two things at a time. This process is so tedious.
Last night my husband had retreated to the computer room to watch hockey and pursue his hobby obsession while I tried to finish my homework for school. I made several announcements that I was done with my homework. What was I going to do with myself for the rest of the evening. I even made several passes through the computer room looking for something to do. I even stated that this was my only day off this week and I was trying to think of something to do together. He didn't catch on to my desire to find something to do together.
Later, he began to do the dishes in his usual half baked manner. When he left and went back to the computer room I came out to finish up. i.e. wash out the pitcher, clean the counters, and do some busy work. Then he suddenly reappeared and started moving papers around the counter. Piling up unrelated coupons and pieces of plastic with newspaper flyers and mail. I asked him rather rudely what he was doing. He said he was "finishing" the kitchen. This made me angry. He was done in the kitchen until I came in and decided to finish the job. Now he was pushing papers and junk around on the counter that had been there for a week. I simply wanted to know why. Why tonight?
He disappeared as soon as I turned my back. It took me about 15 minutes to go through the accumulated miscellaneous on the counter. I turned off the light and picked a book to read.
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