Meeting Our Family Where They Are

I've always committed myself to letting people be who they are going to be and respecting them for that.  I found early on that my husband was not that into the whole baby thing.  He just wasn't interested and I was genuinely OK with that.  The two of them (my husband and our son) would figure it out without my two cents worth.  Didn't fathers and sons just sort of gravitate toward each other to do man things?  I'm shrugging here, because I only know what I see and what I've been told.  Most of it is what moms would like us to think about the father of their children.

I'm a little to blame here, but not for the reasons it might appear.  I'm to blame for all the right reasons.  My son is like me.  He is wickedly awesome creative and an undeniable artist on guitar.  He loves to draw and even went to gymnastics for a little while.  Now that was cool.  He excelled in his art classes in school.  He pursued his loves and I didn't try to steer him in any direction for self pride or gain.  I didn't buy him his first jersey when he was still in diapers or fit him for T-ball in pre-K because he wasn't interested.  So now he is just as misunderstood as I am.  The larger part of the world values sports and competition.  They understand trophies and winning.  Innings, periods and quarters.  Goals, scores, touchdowns and the time clock.  They understand lawnchairs, umbrellas and a steamy field on a Saturday afternoon.  They don't understand the beauty and necessity of the arts, creativity and expressing oneself through something other than trash talk from a dugout. It frustrates me that people only want to be met where they are.

If it's not too late.  I strongly suggest pulling back and studying your kids.  What do they do when they think you aren't looking?  What catches their fancy?  Are they intellects when you really would've rather they were golf stars?  Do they sing in the choir when you really hoped they'd try out for Varsity Cheerleading?  Maybe they sense that and feel like failures.  Maybe you fitted them for golf clubs or a dance skirt before they were old enough to make up their own minds.  Perhaps you wanted so bad to be the parent on the sidelines cheering on that home run.  Please, please, please step back let your kids be who and what they want to be.  You will probably find it to be much less expensive.  They will be so much happier and so will you.