Fitness: My Treadmill Died

I was running a great run.  Yes, I was actually running at 6 mph for a minute with the 90 minute brisk walk interval.  I had just broken a sweat and the thing quit.  I mean it just quit.  It quit so fast if I'd lost my balance I would have run into the control panel.

This is the third treadmill I've bought used and "burned" up.  I actually lubricated this one the best I could.  Without the owners manual I wasn't positive how to do it, but I bought lubricant and sprayed everyting I could find that moved.  I sprayed under the deck the best I could.  I know that ultimately the belt is supposed to come to do it right, but again, without an owner's manual I couldn't be sure how to take it apart and then I wasn't sure I could get it back together.

I don't mind telling you that today I looked at it folded up in the hall ready to go to the trash and I cried.  Like a baby.  I cried not so much because the treadmill was broken, I cried because I'm tired of being just a little over weight, but not tired enough to really do something about it.

There was a time I did a form of the Atkins diet.  I at no bread, no soda, no pasta, no potatoes or rice for a few months and the weight seemed to fall off.  I lost 35 pounds and was down to a size 12.  I shopped for a new concert dress that year and bought a SIZE 12.  I hadn't been a size 12 since before my son was born.  I bought some really cute clothes.  Some little size 14 cargo shorts and cute little short sleeved shirts.  With belts that had funky rivets on them. 

Today, at 205.4, my excuse of being bloated from my period isn't any more than an excuse.  We're so broke right now, any effort on my behalf to save money--like not taking the truck to the lake with my bike--is needed.  The healthy foods, vitamins and lifestyle has gone on the pile as one of the things we can do to save money.

People will say that it doesn't cost anything extra to eat right and get a little exercise.  It does.  When eating right and getting a little exercise works, but not enough, it takes a little more.  It takes healthier and safer choices.  I live in an area surrounded by orange groves and long unpopulated stretches of road.  I just don't feel safe anymore.

I wish I could sit here at my computer and tell you I'm in the pits and will feel better tomorrow, but this has been with me for a while.  A boiling trouble below the surface.  I think the treadmilll breaking and the gaining of something like 8 pounds in the last two months has taken its toll.  I feel fat, I feel ugly and feel llike I don't have a good choice left in the bunch.

I think a little more than just my treadmill died on Sunday.